Parenting Your Children Positively: How To Stop Being Your Child's Personal Servant

"My kids are just lazy.""Why is it so hard for myThen have your child spy
daughter to keep her room clean?""It's easier to avoidsomething for you to pick out and pick up. Simple
a fight and just do my children's chores for them.""If Igame you can play with your
let my kids clean, I'll just have to go back and redochild and you get the room cleaned up all at the same
things anyway..."Have you ever had thoughts liketime. The key to having a
these? I'm sure every parent has. So, what toresponsible child is having expectations for them. Are
do?How can you get your children to help out aroundthey always going to do
the house - and maybe even enjoy it?Last Friday, awhat is asked of them? No, but always including them
parent in my daughter's first grade class asked me thein family duties, not only
following question:"I'm thinking of giving my son someteaches them responsibility, but really makes them
responsibilityfeel like they are a part of
or 'chores' to teach him responsibility for himself andthe family and that they are important to you. The
others and property. Dobonus here is that you get to
you have any ideas on what would be appropriatespend more time with your child in a positive
for a 6 year old?....."Ahhh...creating a responsible child.way.Here is a list of possible ideas fro you to have
YES, I think giving children responsibilityyour children help you with:4 year olds and younger:*
at an early age is fantastic! If you haven't startedPutting toys away (even if at first it is only a few)*
giving your childrenhelping you put silverware away. Give them the
responsibility, start NOW!!Children love to havespoons to put in the drawer. (
structure in their lives, they may not always act likeof course most will not end up in the right place at
theyfirst, but that is ok)* Have them help you with dinner
do, but studies have shown that structure and(putting dry ingredients into a recipe)* Have them put
responsibility are actually twoaway kitchen wash towels or rags in the drawer that
things that children crave in their daily lives. You canthey can reach* Have them put non breakable items
start as early as 18(Fruit ) into the refrigerator after grocery
months of age with responsibility. Now I know thatshopping.* Have them get diapers or wipes that you
many of you are thinking,may need for changing a younger sibling* Have them
Tammi is crazy, how can an 18 month old learnpush in the chairs after dinner* Give them a broom and
responsibility? An example of thisask them to sweep ( Again they won't be good at it,
is when your child is done playing with something askbut
them to help you pick itpraise them, they are trying and that is what is most
up. If there are blocks laying on the floor, say, 'Canimportant)5 years old and up:* Increase the frequency
you help mommy put onein which they are responsible for things* Put their dirty
block in the box?' Show them what you mean anddishes on the counter or rinse them off in the sink* Set
have them follow your example.the table (Have all the plates, utensils, cups, etc. out for
Once your child has done this once, make a big dealthem and have
out of it. Praise them, clapthem set the table)*Have them sweep after
for them, give them a high five or a hug. Have fundinner*Empty part or all of the dishwasher or put clean
with the fact that your childdishes away after they are
just listened to you and helped you pick up a toy. Youwashed* Feed a pet water or food* Clean up their
not only can use this timedirty laundry and make sure that it is put in the proper
as a time for when you are teaching responsibility, butplace* Have them make their own bed (It may not
a general time forlook like what you want it to, but fix
teaching. For example, 'Can you pick up a toy thatit later after they have left the room)* Have them put
has red on it and put it inaway their backpack and coat after school* Have
your basket?' Not only are they cleaning up, but theythem get their clothes out for school the next day*
are working on color,Give them a Clorox wipe and have them wipe down
number, shape recognition as well. Make a game outthe bathroom counters* Give them a rag with dusting
of learning and your childproduct on it and have them dust all the furniture
will pick up not only their toys, but essential academicsat their levelThe list is endless, be creative and mix it
as well.For children that are older, play the 'I Spy' gameup from time to time.I have found with my own kids
with them. If their room is athat they more I involve them in my daily
mess, go up there with them and say 'I spy somethingactivities, the more they are willing to help me out and
green'. When they pick upnot put up a fight.
the green item, say yes and have them put it away.