The Divided Language

I was dismayed to learn the other day, that my all-timeincluding Austro-Hungarians. Germans, Swedes, Dutch,
favourite George Bernard Shaw quote may not in factUkrainians, Irish, Poles and Russians. By 1890 there
have been uttered by him.Nevertheless, even thewere over 300 German newspapers in the U.S.French
misquotation that Britain and the United States are twowas once spoken broadly in a geographical ribbon that
countries divided by a common language, will ring truestretched from Quebec (where it is still the first
with any British Expat who has tried to make theirlanguage today) to New Orleans. Cajun - a mangling
new home in America.There are hundreds andof Acadian - still survives as a language today.Words
probably thousands of words that are different orpoured into the American linguistic landscape from all
embody a changed meaning or intent.British peoplethese groups and others: Cookie came from the
coming to America often assume that they've pickedDutch, avocado and mustang from the Spanish, canoe
up everything they need to know about Americanand tobacco from native Americans.It may be a short
English from a lifetime of consuming American movieshistory but it has been an intense one. When you really
and television.There is, undeniably, a huge advantagestop to consider it, it's amazing American English does
Britons have over other migrants, just by speaking abear as much similarity to what is spoken in modern
variant of the same language. It is also astonishing howday Britain. After all, the Dutch and the Belgian Flemish
much British English has itself becomeactually share a border, but often find each other
Americanised.Forty years ago it would have beenunintelligible.But even when you've been humbled by
difficult to find a British person alive who pronouncedthe historical evidence, it does not prevent the
the word secretary in any way other than the short,unsuspecting Brit from cocking up (to use a comforting
clipped sec-rit-tree. These days, that soundsripe old British expression).In fact it is because the
old-fashioned to many people in the U.K as theEnglish is so similar between the two nations that the
American sec-reh-tar-ee has taken full root. Mind youpitfalls become bigger.You can make a complete fool
in Britain forty years ago, no-one said "hi" and fewout of yourself in the simple act of ordering a cup of
people knew what a teenager was.In these globalisedtea. Unless you specifically ask for "hot tea" in
days American slang takes only a few months toAmerica you're just as likely to be served iced tea. (Of
cross the Atlantic, such as the 90's fad of addingcourse, some would argue that even the hot tea is
"not"on the end of sentences, or saying "I'm like" as aneither hot nor tea).Some of the differences are
substitute for "I thought" or "I said" which hasextremely subtle.A word like jolly in Britain has gained a
regrettably survived well into the new Millennium onlarge range of meanings. There is the jolly Father
both sides of the Atlantic.Perhaps it is because of theChristmas of course. But we also say somebody is
every day prevalence of American English in Britainjolly when they're drunk, or in the sense of humouring
that few British Expats realise what a linguisticor appeasing: To jolly along. It's used to describe perks
minefield they are entering when they cross over thator salacious fun; "I see he's getting his jollies". We
big moat.The very worst attitude to adopt whendescribe things as being "jolly good". It's also used by
arriving on these shores, is what the veteransome British people, usually those who sound a bit like
transatlantic broadcaster Alasdair Cooke oncePenelope Keith, in phrases such as "I'm going to jolly
referred to as immediately deciding that "....Americanswell go down there and give him a piece of my
are British people gone wrong."There is a long andmind!".In America jolly has only one meaning - merry.
inglorious history of British sneering at the wayOther definitions used on this side of the pond will be
Americans speak, often based on ignorantgreeted with bewildered stares.Some words are just
assumptions.Now of course, we all have our owndesigned to be confusing. A pavement in Britain is a
beefs about American pronunciations. I wince everysidewalk in America - where a pavement means the
time I hear the American president say noo-coo-ler foractual road or street. How potentially dangerous could
nuclear. I've never quite worked out why somethat be?I once had an extremely long and strange
Americans say eye-talians for Italians. (Does this meanconversation before I determined that that an aerial is
the country is called eye-taly?) And I feel like inflicting aan anttena in America.Similarly video as a noun refers
great deal of real physical pain on someone when Ionly to a tape, not the machine. In the States the
hear, even seasoned American sports broadcasters,machine is a VCR.I quite recently had to carry out
call the tennis championship Wimble-ton or even moresome swift damage control when I was taken to a
horribly Wimple-ton - as if the d in Wimbledon isparty consisting largely of my girlfriend's family. My
somehow invisible.But for every one of thesehost, kindly introduced me to everyone."This is Lee."
ear-sores, we are equal opportunity manglers ofshe said and then added helpfully, "He's English.""Well
American English. Brits routinely mispronounce relativelyspotted!" I replied, a tad sarcastically but meant
simple American place names such as Michigan,harmlessly, possibly summoning up a little Basil Fawlty
Houston and Arkansas. And despite pleas from thehumour. The whole room fell into an uncomfortable
performer herself, the British adamantly refuse tosilence as I searched desperately for a hole to open in
pronounce Dionne Warwick's name the way it isthe living room carpet that would envelop me.Not only
pronounced in America - literally war-wick.In fact, therewas the jovial sarcasm completely misinterpreted but
is a great body of historical evidence that Americannobody in the room had a clue what "well spotted"
English is much closer to historical English in England,meant anyway.That story does however illustrate
than the version that is spoken today in modern daywhat a lonely place being caught in between two
Britain.It may come as a surprise to the sneerers tocultures can be. This can be compounded by the cruel
learn that words such as fall, for autumn, mad forattitude of friends looking for any evidence that you've
angry, trash for rubbish and scores of othergone soft in the head when you revisit the
Amercanisms all come from Elizabethan England.U.K"Hmmmm! You've got a twang!" is a typical
Many linguists believe that the accent Shakespeare'sobservation usually accompanied by knowing looks
plays would have been performed in would havesignifying an innate cultural superiority. Then, with all the
sounded nothing like the classic renditions we've heardhuman empathy found in the act of pulling wings off
by Gielgud or Olivier. These linguists believe that thebutterflies they'll furtively search and pounce upon
accent typically heard in Shakespeare's Globe Theatre,every piece of newly acquired vocabulary or
would had a distinct twang that we would associatepotentially offensive pronunciation.Once, when
today with the west country. A little bit more like, shocksubmitting a story to an editor in Britain, she noticed I
of shocks, the American accent.Indeed, Gielgud andhad repeatedly used the word "lines"."Do you mean
Olivier spoke what we know in Britain as received orqueues?" she asked."Oh yes I do." I replied,
BBC English. This is now largely acknowledged to beembarrassed by letting an Americanism slip in."Mind
an upper-class Victorian affectation. It neverthelessyou, " she added generously "Line is a much more
became the standard English of public schools andlogical word.""Oh I don't know," I replied feeling a sudden
was rammed into the consciousness of the Britishrush of British nostalgia. "I think queue is quite a
people with the advent of BBC radio in the 1920s.charming word.""My dear Mr. Carter," she scolded, in
While it may have created some sort of standard outher best schoolmistress voice, "if you're starting to find
of a chaotic collection of wildly differing regionalyour own people charming then you really have gone
dialects, it is an artificial, almost worthless creation thatnative!"And so this is the netherworld we inhabit.
has almost no historical value in the understanding ofNeither one nor the otherBut the next time you're
the way English was spoken.So if we accept thatstruggling to order a cup of tea, or to make a fool out
those early settlers in America took with them someof yourself in the drug store, or if you're called a
of the vocabulary and sound of historic England, it's stillhopeless yank by your British friends, just remind
amazing that the language survived the onslaught ofyourself that you're actually a part of a new breed of
subsequent settlers.In the second half of the 19thhardy internationalists.
century some thirty million people poured into America,